After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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