My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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