Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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