You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think i got beer on your cat.
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