He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
