i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
