Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found the puke drawer
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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