you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
