Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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