we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
