the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
