omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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