I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize