Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
