Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
