After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
