how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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