I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i love accidental penises.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
