the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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