I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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