But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
