Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
