is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As shirtless as possible
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
