I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
