I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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