it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
