Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
