You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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