So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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