like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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