can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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