Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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