But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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