Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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