my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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