shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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