her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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