...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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