I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Randomize
