Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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