can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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