I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
