She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
