I look better un-naked...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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