Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
