I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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