i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
