I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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