We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
