you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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