Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
