mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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