he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
