Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I met the friendliest cop last night
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just had sex on a roof
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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