4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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