We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
