dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
