Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
