Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
