so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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