You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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