Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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