chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize