We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
