I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize