fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have feelings that need drinking.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
