no, he came in my armpit
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
