Welp...herpes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You made out with two different species that night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
