I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
