Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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