I just made out with a guy for $7.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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